Well, it’s been at least a year and a half since my heart was here. Blogging was a huge part of my life for a long time and for most of that time I honestly LOVED it. I loved that it saved me money on therapy, introduced me to new friends from all over the world, and gave me a creative outlet outside of my boring job and the tediousness of motherhood. Today it is obvious that blogging really isn’t my “thing” any more, but I’m not closing the door on it. I have so much time and heart invested in this space that I very much plan on continuing with it – just maybe not as passionately as I once did. Right now I want to bring you up to speed on my life over the past year+ so that I can move forward with posting here more often. I guess this post is a way of playing catch up (for those who may care) so I can once again start fresh
Near the end of 2015 I felt myself sinking into a familiar rut. The monotony of my day-to-day life running kids to and from school and activities, keeping the house together, fixing food…. it just all felt so “blah” to me. The short, cold winter days definitely weren’t helping. Having just survived two very emotionally taxing surgeries on my little guy while also struggling with a child whose behavior was challenging me as a mother, I found myself in a place where I didn’t even know myself. I felt tired, lonely, depressed and completely uninspired.
One day in the middle of the week when both boys went down for a nap and Leila was at school, I realized just how miserable I was feeling and that I needed to do something about it. With 400 ideas in my head as to blog posts to write and hobbies and ideas I wanted to pursue for my own personal fulfillment, I froze up yet again. I’m pretty sure I suffer from analysis paralysis – I tend to just shut down instead of taking steps to actually accomplish anything. As I lounged on the couch stuffing my face with potato chips in an attempt to eat away my negative emotions and browsing Netflix for a way to escape my current reality, I came across the documentary version of The Secret. Being a long time fan of the book, I knew it was what I needed to watch in that moment to feel inspired again.
An hour later I was off the couch, the chips were put away, and I had a renewed sense of excitement for life. I felt determined to change my attitude and make things happen in my life. I turned on some upbeat tunes and spent the rest of nap time going about my usual chores while thinking “happy thoughts” about all the good in my life and the opportunities that I just knew were coming my way.
No joke, that very same night my husband got home from work and was beaming with excitement as he informed me of a business opportunity that he had been presented with that day. It was the very same day that I came out of my self doubt and into the light of “big things are happening in my life.” Without knowing anything about this business or the products or what it would take to run it, I knew it was meant to be. Less than three months later, the business was ours.
We’ve been business owners for exactly one year now and the past year has in no way been easy, but I always return to that day when I was handed something good at a time I needed it most. A month after we took over the biz, we put our house on the market and it led us on the most emotional and financially taxing roller coaster ride we’ve ever been on. Who knew buying and selling a home could nearly kill you! We put a lot of faith into a person we thought loved our home and had every intention of following through with the purchase only to have our hearts broken at closing. We found ourselves with TWO mortgages and 1 million pounds of stress on our backs for a few months. Lots of lessons learned in that process! Through it all our hyper-sensitive middle child felt every ounce of stress and acted out in ways we could never imagine being a part of our parenting story. Not to mention, nurturing a happy marriage becomes nearly impossible when the load on your back feels that heavy.
Fast forward to last fall. The clouds finally parted and the sun broke through. Our first home FINALLY sold (to the most AMAZING family ever I must add), school started back up for the kids (routines are EVERYTHING), and we were settling into our new home and business.
As 2017 came, I felt like I breathed the hugest sigh of relief. I feel the fog lifting on the darkness in my heart and I feel super excited for all of the opportunities I’m being presented with this year. Through all the crap and the doubt and the heartache of the last two years, and through losing myself at times, one thing always remained constant in me. Deep down I always knew bigger and better things were on the horizon. I never gave in completely to my own doubt. I truly believe that if you ask and you believe in the things you want to happen in your life, they WILL.