It’s the eve of Christmas Eve and I’m sitting in the waiting room at my son’s therapy with extra time on my hands so I thought I’d write. The snow is dumping down outside and Christmas music is playing lightly in the background and I can’t help but feel happy. My favorite thing about Christmas is the feeling- it’s the pause on all the horrible annoyances of life that normally bring you down, but for some reason are so much easier to handle when Christmas is in the air. I don’t want it to be over! At the same time, I’m so hopeful and excited for the new year on the horizon. I’m excited for new opportunities and goal setting, and the hope that a new year often brings along with it.
This year I kept with my tradition of making a creative family Christmas card in photoshop, but unlike years past where I’ve mailed out 50+ cards to family and friends, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it this year. Something about the perfectly staged happy family photo just didn’t feel right to me. Sometimes I get sick of putting on a happy face all the time and playing into the expectation that my life and my family should be perfect. It’s far from it. I’ve been through a lot this past year and there have been moments where I truly felt like all the good in my life was falling apart. It was hard to keep up with the “perfect” persona we all feel compelled to slap on our faces out in public or on social media, but I still did. I think a lot of us do just that. I’ve been a lot more conscientious as I pass people on the street, or meet up with friends, or see a perfectly posed photo on Instagram that what I am seeing is not the whole picture. Life is messy. Life is tough. We are all suffering in one way or another and I hope each of us can be more aware of that.
I hope this Christmas finds you surrounded by love and the people who lift you up. I hope that even in the stress of the holidays you can see and feel the true gift of the season.
Merry Christmas from my less-than-perfect perfectly posed family to yours! 😉
At the end of October my son, Landon, turned five. Since I dedicated my last post (one of only 7 blog posts I’ve written this year!) to his siblings’ birthdays, it’s only appropriate that he gets a post, too.
But, it’s tough.
You see, this year has been really rough on my little family. A big part of why I’ve stepped away from blogging is due to the stress I’ve experienced from several areas of my life. I guess I’ve been so overwhelmed that my love of writing and photography has just sort of died… or at least moved to the very back burner. Sad, huh?
Look at my beautiful, bright, blue-eyed, magnificent child, Landon Drew. Just looking at that photo fills me with so much love it hurts. It also fills me with worry and a bit of sadness. You may remember near the start of this year I wrote about overcoming struggles with him and how we had finally found our way and that four was a miracle age. Well, I spoke too soon. I really don’t want to go into details, but we have been on quite the behavioral roller coaster ride with this guy. We finally got in with a therapist near the end of summer and got some answers and we are slowly making progress. Bit by bit I am starting to better understand who my child is and what he struggles with each day.
Landon at five years old is stubborn, oh so stubborn. But he also has a big heart and the goofiest, most entertaining personality, too. He loves doing puzzles, playing dress up, irritating his baby brother, potty humor, cooking (he seriously makes the best scrambled eggs!), sweets, and going to school. This year Landon is in a preschool class for “barely 5’s” and goes for 2 half days and 2 full days each week. This has been a great way to get him ready for next year when he will start kindergarten (!!!). Landon has no desire to participate in any organized group sports or activities yet, but loves playing baseball and football with Dad in the backyard. He’s got a pretty mean throw! Landon stands out in our family with his blue eyes, thick lashes, and shaggy golden locks (which he took scissors to the other day, resulting in a buzz cut and tears from his momma). This kid is my wildcard, but I wouldn’t have him any other way.