It was an average Wednesday night around 10pm when I was just finally getting around to unwinding from the craziness that is my everyday life when my darling husband had a startling realization. We were perusing real estate online while simultaneously watching HGTV when he suddenly blurted out, “Oh my gosh, it’s our anniversary this weekend!”
I had completely, 100% forgot. Like if he hadn’t said something, I would not have remembered until the Timehop app reminded me on the day of. It was a really sad moment. Of course, him and I started cracking up because we had turned into that old married couple who can’t even manage to keep track of their wedding anniversary (and we’re only 7 years in!). Oye. Needless to say, I was super happy that he remembered and we still had a couple of days to plan a little date celebration, and mortified that I forgot all about it.
You see, forgetting my wedding anniversary is SO not like me. Sure, I’m a bit scatter brained and spacey at times, but I love a good excuse to celebrate. And I love love. And I really love my husband. But between taking care of three small children, Leila’s ballet recital, readying our house to sell, and end of the school year festivities, I lost track of the date. I’m still not sure how it is already June. And actually, June is already half over!
I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection lately because I’m sick of time just flying by while I feel like I’m trapped in the middle of a tornado watching everything in my life swirl around me while dust stings my eyes. These past 12 months have felt like this to me. With Roman’s first birthday quickly approaching I’ve decided it’s time for me to step out of the storm and take control of my life again. I’m making some small changes and looking forward to focusing on myself a little bit once again.
Whether you’re a mom of one or ten, it’s hard to make time for yourself and when you do, it’s hard to not feel guilty enjoying it. However, when you become a mother your self-identity is not lost. It just changes a little bit. Underneath the sleep deprivation, spilled milk, grey hairs, and heart wrenching love is still YOU.