Three and a half years ago I started this blog. I was sparked by a deep dissatisfaction with the stagnancy of my life. I was letting my life live itself instead of me living it. I was just going through the motions. I was unhappy at work, bored in the evenings with TV sucking my life, and feeling like I was letting my daughter down by sending her to daycare five days a week when I had nothing to show for it except for a tiny bit of extra cash in the bank.
It may not seem like a lot has changed in my day-to-day life in these past 3 years, but boy how it has! Not only am I about to become a mom of three, but I’ve pushed myself to really explore new passions and learn to love who I am. Today I can say my life is anything but boring. I’ve discovered a love for writing, a passion for photography, a desire for fitness (who woulda thunk it!), and a satisfaction with myself – with exactly the person I am in this moment. The only thing I haven’t been able to let go of is my career. Until now.
In two weeks I start a new adventure. I’m finally going to get a taste of what it’s like to be with my kids all day, every day. No more daycare drop-offs and scrambling to throw together dinner after a long day at work. No more dress pants or curling my hair at 7am. It’s going to be a huge adjustment for me. I’m excited. I’m terrified.
It hasn’t been easy being a working mom, but I know I’m about to venture into even trickier territory. Gone will be the days of sitting at my desk in peace, in clean clothes with perfect hair, savoring my morning coffee and leisurely going through unread emails. No more kid-free lunches with my work BFFs any day of the week (sad face!). No more daily face-to-face adult interaction.
While I know it’s going to be tough, I’ve wanted to experience this for so long. I can’t wait to be the person my kids turn to day-in and day-out for all of their needs. I can’t wait to step up my game for them.
I don’t see my choice to be a stay-at-home-mom as me giving up “me.” In fact, I see this as a great opportunity to find myself even more – to explore new opportunities. And hey, if I realize in a few months that being at home all day every day isn’t for me, I can always return to the work force. I’m just really excited for this new page, this new chapter.