January 2014 archive
We had a weird weekend. On Friday night Leila got a freakishly high fever, went to bed early, and woke up perfectly fine. No other signs of sickness. Last night Landon spiked a fever and fell asleep at 4pm and slept until 6am this morning! He was still feverish when he woke up, so I decided to stay home with him. Other than a slight temp, he is happy as a clam and I am enjoying another day of relaxing. Oh the joys of having children! Speaking of children, I’m 17 weeks pregnant already!
17 week happenings…
- I forgot how bizarre dreams can get during pregnancy! Like seriously, CRAZY. I wake up in the morning feeling like I hardly slept because I was so active in my sleep.
- Speaking of sleep, it’s kinda crappy these days. I sleep like a rock until around 1pm when I’m about to wet the bed. After that I can’t go back to sleep and end up tossing and turning for the rest of the night. I’m sure this is contributing to the psychotic dreams.
- Definitely feeling baby move now. It makes me smile so big! You never really know if things are going well in your pregnancy until you feel that baby move regularly. There isn’t anything better. Andy is anxiously awaiting his turn now.
- Give me all the food. Endless appetite over here! I wish I could say I am stuffing my face with healthy things, but it just isn’t true. Yes, I force down the fruits and veggies, but I really want chips and fried foods and pasta. Still don’t care much about sweets at least.
- Dying to find out what we’re having! I want to start shopping (even though I really shouldn’t). To me there is nothing more fun than shopping for a new baby.
- Still focusing on savoring each and every second of this pregnancy. I really don’t want it to fly by.
For fun, belly shots at 17 weeks with my other pregnancies (look at little Leila!!!)…
I am also having a little bit too much fun taking my weekly belly pics! The fact that I’m taking them myself this time makes it more of a fun challenge (and hiding the camera remote can be tricky). I can’t wait for the weather to warm up so I can shoot outside – the lighting in my house is tricky! I’m going to try to put together a little photography post with some of my must-have items soon.
The other day I found myself lost in my thoughts, as I often do. I was doing some self-analyzing and digging into the why behind my fear of just going for things in life. I’ve touched on this fear many times before on this blog, but all of a sudden it hit me – the cause of all this fear. It isn’t fear of failure, it isn’t fear of success, it isn’t fear of going broke, or being put down. It all stems from a simple lack of self-confidence.
Sure, I have a positive self-image – I’m confident in the way that I know I have strength and some talent, I’m a kind, caring person, I have lots of friends and a family who love me. But when it comes to really going for it, to really putting myself out there, there’s a confidence shortage.
I take good photos, but I’m not good enough to be a professional photographer. I’m crafty, but I can’t make anything awesome enough to actually sell. I’m smart, but I’m stupid when it comes to business. Yeah, I’m good at that, but that person does it better than me.
I never realized how paralyzing these thoughts can be. I feel like I will never take the step to even try just going for it (whatever it may be) because I will never get to a point of confidence in myself that I can really succeed. If you don’t just pull the trigger and try, you’ll never make it. I know my limits, yet I just can’t seem to push through them.
So, how am I going to gain this fraction of confidence to push myself forward in life? When we are lacking confidence, no one can give it to us. It’s something we need to work through on our own. Here are some things I’m thinking may just help me get there.
>>> Cut back on the watching and start doing.
I am the ultimate people watcher. It is my favorite thing to do. This is why I’m obsessed with reality TV, social media, and blog stalking. I don’t know why I love stepping out of my own life so much to live vicariously through others. It really is a weird thing if you think about it. I do know that when I am being active, not just physically, but writing and playing with my kids and cooking and creating, I am happier and more confident in myself. When I get sucked into the vortex of ignoring my own life to get a glimpse into the lives of others, that’s when I lose my footing.
>>> Give myself compliments and give thanks.
I am an extremely grateful person. I thank God daily for all that I’ve been blessed with. Something I don’t give thanks for though is all of my strengths. I don’t compliment myself enough. I guess I don’t believe in myself enough to give thanks for the talents I have. I truly believe that if we pay ourselves compliments, if we are grateful for what we have to offer the world, our confidence will grow. Sitting around and waiting for others to pay us those compliments is a waste of time. We can be our own personal cheerleaders. I really need to focus more on that.
>>> Focus on being inspired by others’ success instead of intimidated.
I follow many successful business women in the blog world and on social media. When I start comparing them to myself, I quickly fall into a black hole. Lately I’ve been choosing to feel inspired by their success instead of intimidated. Instead of comparing, I’m asking myself what I can learn from them. Consciously changing my perception of them and their success is helpful. After all, jealousy is seriously the fastest road to a collapse in self-confidence.
I know I’m not alone here in my struggles with confidence. I don’t think anyone is 100% confident in who they are, especially today with all of the windows into the lives of other people available to us. Sometimes it is paralyzing, but it can also be inspiring. I guess it’s just up to us to decide what it will be.
No, I’m not talking about that (^) kind of dreaming (although I have been having some Ca-RAzy pregnancy dreams lately!), I’m talking the dreaming that started this blog in the first place. I didn’t name my blog “Dreams To Do” for nothing. While I don’t really talk about my dreams on here as much as I used to, today I want to go back to a little bit of the heart of my blog.
Yes, I am still a dreamer. However, I’ve settled into feeling a lot more comfortable with who I am than I was when I started writing here at the start of 2011. When I started this blog I was lost. I felt trapped – trapped by myself and by my belief of what defines success. I didn’t feel successful. I felt I had potential that was wasting away at a job I was less than passionate about followed by evenings spent soaking up junk TV. Since then I’ve pushed myself in parenting, writing, crafting, and photography. While I still enjoy watching TV, there’s a whole lot less of it these days. Instead, I try to stimulate my mind a little bit more.
Today I am still working the same job I once felt trapped and unfulfilled by. However, I’ve come to learn that being successful and feeling fulfilled goes SO FAR BEYOND what you do for a living. Sometimes you do what you need to do to make a little extra money to support hobbies and things that make you feel alive. I mean, if your job is sucking the life out of you and making you miserable, move on. But if you’re content and you can find other ways to pursue your dreams and passions beyond just a career path, then that is totally ok.
I still find myself holding back due to fear of the unknown, and a lack of self-confidence (more on this in my next post), but I don’t feel the urgency to make myself into something great like I used to. Instead, I’m excited to just be happy. I’m excited to continue to explore my interests. If some day I can make a career out of something I’m passionate about, AWESOME. If not, that’s ok, too. As long as I continue to push myself to learn new things and follow my heart, I’ll end up in a good place. Afterall, I’m a mother first and foremost, but I’m a dreamer, too. Even moms can still have dreams.
“How much better to know that we have dared to live our dreams than to live our lives in a lethargy of regret.” ~ Gilbert Caplin
16 weeks and feeling pretty dang good. A lot of life things are up in the air and change is on the horizon, so I’m battling some mixed emotions and stress, but feeling pretty peaceful in this pregnancy.
Random pregnancy tid-bits at 16 weeks…
- I am almost 90% sure that I felt the first flutters! It’s happened a couple of times now, only when I am sitting very still. With this being my 3rd pregnancy I’m much more in tune with what it feels like, so I’m quite certain it’s baby. I love this little guy/girl so much already.
- The horrible acne that plagued my jaw line in the 1st trimester is starting to ease up a bit (knocking on wood!), but the bacne is horrible! Thank goodness it’s winter. Yikes!
- See those pics above? Pretty sure that was my last time wearing my favorite pair of jeans for at least another year. Sad face. 🙁
- Haven’t busted out the maternity clothes and probably won’t for a while. I heart leggings.
- As far as cravings go, I don’t really have anything specific I’m wanting to eat. But, there are things that don’t sound good. Basically vegetables and water and anything healthy is not appealing. Bummer, right? You’d think our bodies would know to crave the healthy stuff!
- I’ve been really tired again this week. Last week I was bursting with energy, but this week I just wanted to sleep. It may have to do with the frigid fog situation we have going on over here, too.
- I’m not normally a big cryer over happy things, but now I am! A happy movie? The birth of a friend’s baby? Send the tissues my way!
And for fun I leave you with snapshots from my last 2 pregnancies at 16 weeks…
PS – I promise my blog isn’t just turning into a bunch of maternity posts. I have lots of post ideas floating around in my head, but very little time to actually write them. Soon, soon…
Haven’t done one of these for a while, so I thought I’d share with you what’s making me happy these days, including a few products I’m loving. Sure, life isn’t all about “stuff” but every now and then you stumble upon things that really do bring a smile to your face and make your life just a little bit better.
>>> e.l.f. Lip Exfoliator
At $3 this baby is worth it’s weight in gold. I had heard about this months ago via some big beauty blog (I don’t even remember) and knew I had to try it since my lips are HORRIBLE (dry and flaky) this time of year. I’ve been to Target about 50 times since and every time it’s been sold out. Finally, FINALLY, I was able to get some last week. Love it. It’s a little stick of heavenly exfoliant in a lipstick tube. You massage your lips with it and it gently buffs away dry skin. And it tastes AMAZING (not that you’re supposed to eat it or anything)! Definitely making me happy.
>>> My Boy Calling Me Momma
This is going to sound crazy and hard to believe, but my little Landon Drew just last week started calling me “Mama.” I’ve been waiting 2 years and almost 3 months for this! Sure, he’s referred to Andy as “Dada” since he was one, but I got nothing. Until now. Now he is making up for it. I walk into a room and he yells with enthusiasm, “Mama!!” If Daddy tries to get him dressed or change his diaper he cries for “Mama!” It was worth the wait.
>>> Erin Condren Life Planner
Yes, I caved. If you haven’t heard of Erin Condren Life Planners, you’re probably living under a rock (or you just aren’t as involved in the blog world as I am). Basically, for the last few years I’ve seen and read posts about how these are the paper planners of all planners. With a spendy price tag, I just couldn’t see what was so special. However, I’m a sucker for paper planners. With the arrival of 2014 and the emptiness of a planner in my life, I decided to just bite the bullet and go for it. I wanted to see what all the hype was about. I just got my first ever Erin Condren Life Planner and I heart it. So cute! So perfectly organized! It even has inspirational quotes scattered throughout which we all know is right up my alley. I really hope I can maintain organization this year by actually utilizing this thing. Only time will tell. But, it really is so pretty that I want to sleep with it.
If you’re interested in getting your own EC Life Planner, please do so through my referral link! You’ll get $10 off your first purchase and I’ll earn rewards, too. Win win!
>>> Waiting to Feel The First Baby Kicks
On Monday night while watching The Bachelor (Juan Pablo, anyone??? Mmmmmm.) I thought that just maybe I could have felt the first fluttery movements of this baby in my belly. But, it could have been food digesting, too. It made me realize just how excited I am to feel movements regularly. I have a freakisly long torso so I’ve never had to deal with the jabs in the ribs or any or those uncomfortable kicks many momma’s feel (yeah, I’m spoiled). I just can’t wait. My favorite thing about being pregnant is that you always have something to look forward to. Even on the darkest days, there is a ray or light in my life.
>>> Philadelphia Jalapeno Cream Cheese
You didn’t think a pregnant woman could have a making me happy list without food, did you? There were some bagels and a variety of cream cheese at a work meeting last week and I fell in love with the jalapeno. No joke people, this stuff is AMAZING. It is creamy goodness with just the right amount of spice. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. I love it on a plain bagel, but I’m thinking it would be excellent in a turkey wrap or on crackers. Get in my belly!
What’s making you happy today?