There are several moments from my 29 years of life that are unforgettable – vivid memories that I can taste and feel as if they happened yesterday. Learning to ride my bike. My first day of kindergarten. My first kiss. Graduation. My wedding. Finding out I was pregnant. The births of my babies. And sprinkled within these life milestones are moments that weren’t anything special at the time, but that I still look back on fondly and think about on a regular basis.
I was in middle school. It was nearing the end of the school year and summer was in the air. I rode the bus home from school and made the one mile walk up my bumpy, dirt driveway to our funky little cottage in the woods. I don’t remember what I was stressing out about that day, but I remember feeling overwhelmed and even a little bit sad. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with a boy.
I threw my backpack on the couch and returned to the great outdoors. The sun was still high in the cloudless sky, the birds were chirping and the smell of wild flowers was in the air. I walked out into the field next to our house through waist-high grass that itched my bare legs. Mid-way through the field the grass subsided where a patch of wild strawberries were starting to bloom. My spot. I sprawled out on my back, closed my eyes, and let the sun hit my face, my arms, my legs. The wind rustled the grass around me and I opened my eyes. In that moment, gazing up at the sky and the trees around me, I had a little bit of an epiphany. I was overcome with a feeling of just how big the world, the universe, really is. All of a sudden my measly problems seemed so insignificant. I felt so small and helpless in that instant, but completely hopeful. At that time in my life, I didn’t know God, but I think I had a moment with Him.
The past couple of weeks, no months, have been stressful. I return to this moment in the field by my parents’ house often. I close my eyes and remember the way the sun felt; I try to grasp on to my innocence and that feeling of smallness and simplicity. There is SO much more to life than each of our little problems, annoyances, stresses. It feels good to reflect on this every once in a while – to recenter ourselves.
Photos from last summer. Man oh man, how I’m craving summer already! Good thing I get to go to Hawaii in a couple months! Just booked our tickets last night!!!!